You are everything to
me, deeps inside my heart I know!!
I know many a time I
made you cry…
I can never be the
perfect son…
But trust me, to make
you happy, everyday I try…
You are my
motivation, you are my winning song!!
Mom I love you…
And I will love till
I turn blue!!
What is God, I never
knew…
But
to me, the GOD is YOU!!
Saturday, October 27, 2012
~I Dream~
I dream of sunshine in the placid rain, I dream of happiness in my deepest pain; I dream a little darkness in the vivid light, I dream of white dove in the gruesome fights!!
I dream of the world as a better place to live, I dream more people can learn how to forgive; I dream of compassion in this raging hate, I dream we still have time, I hope we aren't terribly late!!
I dream of love, but not as much of lust, I dream of a relation built solely on trust; I dream of you, I dream of me, I dream of a dream, as happy as it can be!!
It's been a long week and I feel like sleeping for a day or two. Trying hard to do so, I am lying on my bed and its past 12 already. Another Saturday creeping steadily before I can realize. I can see my ever so faithful maid kept the door open, well thanks to her... I can finally see it's a beautiful day outside. Still too lazy to get up, I just lie there looking at the open door as the curtains sway in the wind occasionally letting in a cool breeze, the sound and smell of the sea. Its dark inside, the ceiling fan's making a weird sound, as if asking me for a break- I wonder shouldn't I be the one asking for a break? Well then again... not from the ceiling fan I guess. I can hear the little kids out on the beach, their parents calling after them. The clouds are playing with the sun- the room gets filled with bright light and the next instant as if someone dimmed the light to the limit. I can hear distant sounds, slurred and unintelligible- someone calling out, sounds of car door slamming, of garage doors closing and of course, above all the constant sound of the splashing waves against the rocks. The smell in the wind reminds me of rain from back at home. I get up, get myself a mug of coffee and drag myself out on the porch. The wind blew substantial amount of sand on my porch. The sea looks inviting, but I would surely like to roll on the sand couple of times before I take a dip. The sun has totally disappeared now behind the black clouds that's hovering all over the sky now. The sky out on the distant horizon of the sea looks more dramatic, like a black angry bull snorting just before charging out at me. The wind is chilly now, probably the rain already started out there in the sea. I can smell the smell of the wet earth, the angry sea mixed with fresh air. I get down from the porch to the dry sand; its still warm. As i start walking towards the sea, down it came- at first one then two three and it kept on falling. I just stood there without moving and it rained all over me, cold sweet rain... and the sand beneath my feet still felt warm.
Try to see all those things happening around us, most of
which goes unseen. Thousands of miracles happening right in front of our eyes;
yet we can be so blind, so ignorant. I am confined in this little space in time
but I do solemnly believe my thoughts, my beliefs, my love will be forever
free; will be here till the end of time.
I am agnostic. I do believe there is something supernatural that’s binding us
all together; that power undefinable by science does exist. But at the same
time I cannot believe in the existence of any deity. I want to believe in God
but the rational part of me wants proof; although time and again I have been
made believe of the existence of something supernatural but never a single time
the existence of God.
To me a religion is something that we all must have to maintain our integrity,
our stability. That one belief that helps us get through the day. Believing is
important, trust is important. So I chose to believe, not in any God or any
book written by someone else, but in myself; my work, my worth, my instinct, my
self! Because if a mere mortal can be given the stature of a deity, why can’t
we, for we all are the same, inside and out. I believe if a man believes in
himself enough, he can accomplish whatever he wants. To me, a religion built on
self belief would be the greatest of all, for at the end of the day we aren’t
turning to any other person to get our job done; to get us out of pain. We are
turning to ourselves and doing the job, getting ourself out of the pain,
creating miracles everyday. Amen!
p.s- elaborate version coming soon!!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
~~Can't Touch Me~~
Sitting somewhere where the world can't touch me, can't touch me... Lying somewhere where no one can hurt me, can't hurt me...
Wrapped up in foreign emotions, that will never set me free... Still dreaming a dream that will only let me be, let me be...
A fleeting thought, a fading memory, distant sound of the sea... A coffee gone cold, a cigarette burnt out, the empty afternoon porch and me...
Sitting somewhere where the world can't touch me, can't touch me... Lying somewhere where no one can break me, can't break me...
It was a different day today, like it was yesterday or like it will be tomorrow. I feel freaky each day, but I guess today it’s special! Why if you may ask.. well because, its ‘kicking day’ in my mind calendar. Well you see, now it gets interesting because there is no such particular day as Kicking Day, but it’s just the way I feel today. These days I feel differently each day and also have different experiences each. What is so interesting in this line you will ask. Yes, right as you are, isn’t that the most common phenomenon of all in the daily life! Well it is, but just that as I do have different kind of experiences or feelings each day, one of them supersedes the others. Like for today I knew it’s not an experience but feeling of kicking everyone and anyone I feel like. But remember, I was just ‘feeling’ it and actually trying to do what I felt would have landed up me in lot of shit. And like some days I experience things and I would know from the start what the experience would be because these experience day seem to repeat themselves at random intervals. For example one of my favourite experience day is the ‘Girls Day’!! Well the thing is that on such days if I go out I will get to see lots and lots of girls, all kinds.. beautiful, hot, cute, sexy, mature, egoistic, hyper, mental etc..in all their glories. And I kinda know in advance that I will get to see girls today even if I don’t feel like it. And if you may ask how would I know it, well, as soon as I would step out of our gate I will see a beautiful girl walking by and I know it’s one of those days. It never failed me once.
So like I was saying it was ‘Kicking Day’ today. Had to wake up early and had an unbearable head ache. Felt like kicking my head for starters. Then went to some distant relatives house with Dad and damn...that freaked up person we visited.. he was one of a kind. Well to start with he looked like a parrot with a cosmetic surgery gone terribly wrong. Then he was not that old even, younger than my Dad, but he walked as if he had a dildo up his ass. And while talking he made this weird sound, mostly while laughing, a strange sound and at one time I saw Dad staring at him while he was laughing his kidneys out and making that guank-guank-guank-enww-enww-enww sound! Man I could have bet Dad thought that this guy was choking himself cold! Hell I thought that myself! And the smell.. probably he didn’t take his monthly bath!! I kicked him so many times mentally that while walking out of his house I was probably limping!! Well after that I kinda kept on taking it as it came... mentally kicked some stupid kids jumping in the road, a moron bicyclist, a suicidal old man walking in the middle of the road, the retailer of the grocery store, the cow near the grocery store (mind it Animal Rights.. kicked ‘em mentally :P), the freaking truck driver and so on and so forth..
Hell i don’t even know why I noted down all this bull.. well for those who hated my kicking frenzy..just take it as a confession of my guilt..and those who actually loved this stuff..wait for updates!! So long..
p.s- I assume I do have a reasonable amount of readers although I can’t care less if it’s just the opposite!!
